Finding Your Voice in the Family Business

Series Preview:  Welcome to the first article in a four-part series designed to help the next generation of family business leaders find their voices and to help founders and CEOs truly hear them. Whether you’re a founder, a spouse, a member of the next generation, or a trusted non-family advisor, this series offers practical tools to foster trust, respect, and meaningful dialogue across generations. Together, we’ll explore how to build a legacy that is successful and worth preserving.

Not long ago, I was invited to facilitate a family meeting. It was one of those moments where a meaningful shift is revealed in a short span of time. Around a long walnut boardroom table, I noticed Daniel, the founder’s 32-year-old son, shifting in his chair. His father had just outlined a bold expansion plan into a market Daniel had serious doubts about. I knew Daniel had prepared carefully to present his concerns.

Sensing the tension, I leaned in and said, “Daniel, you’ve been tracking that market closely. Would you like to share what you’ve learned?”

Before he could respond, his father jumped in. I raised a hand gently - part facilitator, part traffic cop - and asked if we could hear Daniel out before opening the floor. His father gave a reluctant nod.

What happened next was worth every awkward pause. Daniel spoke for five minutes, calmly, measuredly, and clearly. By the end, even his father was nodding. The decision shifted that day, saving the company millions in an untested market. It was a powerful reminder: sometimes the quietest voice in the room holds the clearest wisdom.

When I work with family businesses, I hear next gens echo the same struggle again and again: “It’s not that I don’t have ideas, it’s that I don’t feel safe sharing them.”

Founders often build their businesses from the ground up. They weathered storms, made tough calls, and earned the right to be decisive. That kind of strength is admirable, but it can also cast a long shadow over their children.

Under that shadow, next gens, the rising leaders, often wrestle with quiet but powerful questions:

• What if my idea isn’t good enough?

• What if I sound naïve?

• What if speaking up damages my relationship with my parent?

The result? Silence. Not because there’s nothing to say, but because silence feels safer.

And here’s the catch: silence is rarely neutral. Founders may interpret it as apathy or a lack of readiness. I’ve had founders say, “They never have any ideas.” But the truth? The ideas were there all along, just locked inside.

Another family’s story drives this home. The founder’s two adult children brimmed with innovative, forward-looking ideas they attempted to share. But in front of their father, those ideas seemed to shrink. His responses were almost always some version of, “That’s not how we’ve done it,” or “We’ll revisit later.” But later never came.

Over time, their voices faded. The eldest eventually stopped attending meetings altogether and, not long after, walked away from the business. His father told me, almost triumphantly, “See? He wasn’t ready.”

But it wasn’t readiness that failed. It was the space for contribution.

What Both Sides Can Do

For Founders:

1. Create intentional space. Set aside meeting time where next gens lead the discussion, uninterrupted.

2. Ask, then listen. Resist the urge to jump in mid-sentence. You’ll get your turn.

3. Acknowledge effort, not just outcomes. Contribution itself builds confidence.

For Next Gens:

1. Come prepared. A few well-researched points provide you with a solid foundation and credibility.

2. Lead with curiosity. “How do you see this playing out?” can open the door more gently than a bold statement.

3. Find allies. A sibling, a non-family exec, or an advisor can help amplify your voice.

The real tragedy in family businesses isn’t conflict; it’s the absence of dialogue. Silence breeds assumptions, and assumptions breed mistrust. Once a founder believes the next generation has nothing to say or the next generation thinks that no one is listening, those beliefs harden. Breaking them can take years, if it happens at all.

But I’ve seen the magic when both sides stretch: founders setting aside their egos to listen, and next-gen leaders taking the risk to speak. It’s rarely neat and never easy. Yet it’s the only path to a shared future, one where both the family and the business can truly thrive.

Next up in this series: How next gens can build confidence, credibility, and presence, even when the founder’s personality dominates the room.